Missy's Makeover
by itsthewickedstepmother
Summary: Fresh out of the time war (again) a newly regenerated Missy ventures into the world of make up for the first time.


The shop assistant raised her eyebrows suspiciously as a blue eyed high cheek-boned woman in an over sized hoody entered her store. Thick, dark locks of untamed hair fell wildly across her shoulders and her face looked tired and pale, though her eyes still sparkled wickedly with life.

For a moment, Missy looked overwhelmed and slightly lost as she stepped through the sliding doors into the cosmetics store; this was one world she really did know very little about. However, not being one to tread carefully she quickly shook away any uncertainty and began striding up the aisles of the store as though she owned the place, checking out her new features in every mirror she passed along the way. The shop assistant watched her carefully from behind the counter, certain that this suspiciously confident homeless-looking woman was about to try and pocket something in her enormous hoody.

It didn't take long for Missy to sense the girl's nervous gaze lingering on her, and she suddenly stopped and abruptly turned on her heel with a grin, pointing directly at her from across the room.

"YOU! I need to buy some colours," she announced rather grandly. The girl behind the counter jumped at being addressed so directly and blinked in bewilderment.

Missy rolled her eyes, "god I'd forgotten how slow they are on this planet," she muttered to herself before putting on a heavy London accent, "I need-to buy-some make up."

The girl tentatively stepped out from behind her counter and reluctantly approached this unusually eccentric customer.

"H-hello...is there anything in particular you're looking for?"

Missy shrugged, "Just show me alllllll your colours. I want pink, red, purple, blue, indigo..."

"Right," The assistant mumbled, as Missy continued to sing her way through the colour spectrum. "Well...we have some very beautiful nail polishes over here you might be interested in?" She guided Missy along into the next aisle where her eyes lit up as she saw all the glossy glass bottles lined up in every shade imaginable.

"Oooohhhh very nice!" Missy's eyes flashed over the many colours in glee. She selected a deep plum polish and began unscrewing the bottle top, much to the shop assistants alarm.

"Oh, no that's not actually a tester bottle you can't-"

"Shhhhh!" Missy lifted a finger to her lips before beginning to carefully paint her nails. Her eyes flashed dangerously, telling the shop assistant it would be very unwise to intervene any further. Instead, she found herself standing by helplessly as a huge amount of frustrated sighing came from the older woman, who had apparently never handled a nail polish brush before.

Several smudges and scottish swear words later Missy was finally satisfied with her work, and she tossed the bottle of polish carelessly into the arms of the shop assistant, along with several other colours that took her fancy.

"Right lovely I'll take those. What's next then?"

"Erm..."

"Lipsticks!" Missy suddenly answered her own question, spotting a display case of them at the end of the aisle.

She marched towards the display and began inspecting the sleek black tubes of waxy colour. The shop assistant followed nervously after her, wondering if this could possibly be some kind of elaborate mystery shopper test.

"Ohhhhh yes I like this one!" Missy exclaimed as she read the bottom of the tube in delight. "Blood Crimson!"

The poor girl stood by powerlessly once again as Missy pouted into the mirror and applied the deep red colour to her lips. She admired her reflection proudly from every angle before finally moving on to closely studying the rest of the colours.

After much deliberation she eventually decided on a very dark pink, a satin shade of plum, two warm toned reds, and of course her favourite blood crimson. Missy tossed all of this into the waiting arms of the checkout girl, who was now serving as a human shopping basket. The girl didn't dare point out that the shop did provide actual shopping baskets, and concentrated instead on not dropping any of the nine items she was now being forced to carry.

"Is-is there anything else you were looking for?" The girl stuttered, desperately hoping the answer would be no. Missy stopped for a moment, deep in thought. Her eyes briefly scanned her surroundings of the shop for inspiration, when she suddenly notice the smokey charcoal colour expertly blended onto the shop assistant's eyelids.

Without warning she quickly stepped invasively close to the girl for a closer look. "What have you got there? Above your eyes?"

"Erm…eyeshadow?" The checkout girl answered, nervously taking a step backwards and wondering if this woman had even heard of the concept of personal space.

"Eyeshadow?" Missy repeated. "Right well I suppose I'll have a bit of that then. Come on hop to it, show me the best colours you've got."

The shop assistant led the way into the next aisle, now shaking with nerves at the prospect of having to make a recommendation to this insanely intimidating woman. Missy skipped behind her, blowing kisses with her newly painted red lips into any reflective surface along way.

"O-okay...well personally I would suggest for a woman of your a...er...colouring, something quite subtle. We have some lovely earthy shades of brown over here, and some soft peach tones-"

"That one!" Missy interrupted, apparently not listening to a word the girl was saying. She pointed to a very bold icy blue eye shadow on the middle shelf.

The shop assistant glanced her eyes nervously over the woman's colour of choice. "Right...I mean personally I wouldn't advise pairing that particular shade with the red lipsticks you've already selected, but-"

"That one." Missy repeated, more firmly this time. The girl flinched at the older woman's sudden sharp tone, and reluctantly reached across the counter for the square compact of pressed blue powder. Missy eagerly snatched it out of her hands and admired her choice proudly.

"Right!" She sang, "Do I need anything else?"

"Erm...well we...we could look at some eye liner or mascara?"

"Right yes well lead the way then dear come on hurry up!" Missy sighed impatiently, the novelty of her first shopping trip now wearing off and boredom creeping in.

She placed her hands firmly on her hips as they reached the final aisle of the store. "Well this is extremely dull they're all just black?" She frowned.

"Well, traditionally mascara is black as it gives more definition-"

Missy leant forward and grabbed one from the stand, knocking several items over in the process. She opened the tube and examined it closely, as the younger girl scrambled around on the floor trying to pick up the many tubes Missy had sent rolling everywhere.

"What the hell is the point in this thing? My eyelashes are already black? Why would I want to put more black on them? Honestly, no wonder there are so many wars on this planet you people are all over the place."

"Um...well it's not just about the colour really...I mean you can use it to curl eyelashes, or make them appear longer..."

"And do people like that?"

"I...er...well, yes...I suppose-"

"Okay fine I'll take one then, god this is taking forever."

"Well, actually I'd say you've got pretty much everything you need if you're in a hurry to leave?" The shop assistant suggested, relieved to finally be seeing a light at the end of the tunnel of this whole ordeal.

"Whatever." Missy shrugged. She followed the girl to the tills and watched her scanning each item and carefully wrapping it in delicate tissue paper. She tapped her foot impatiently, an unnerving smile across her face as the younger girl packed everything into a luxury gift bag and added up the total cost.

"Th-that'll be £85.60 please…will you be using cash or card-"

A sudden eruption of laughter from Missy cut through the girl's question. She glanced up from the till, her face the picture of confusion and annoyance.

"Erm...sorry did I...did I say something funny?"

"Oh poppet," Missy breathed between giggles, "It's just you seem to be under the impression that I'm going to pay you."

"...What? What do you mean? Do you not want these anymore?" She gestured towards the shopping bags in bewilderment.

"Oh no I do want them. Very much so. I'm just not going to be giving you any silly bits of paper in exchange for them."

The checkout girl began to panic, the situation suddenly escalating from simply dealing with a difficult customer to robbery. She attempted to put on an authoritative tone, "Right, I'm calling the police unless you leave right now."

"Are you?" Missy taunted patronisingly, thoroughly enjoying herself now.

"Yes."

"Really?"

"Yes." The girl repeated, her temper now rising. There was no way she was about to loose her job because of this insane woman.

"Well go on then."

"...I will." She shakily reached for the phone and started to dial.

"Good for you, that's lovely. But I'm afraid I haven't got time to stick around the grand finale so I'll just take my little bag goodies and be on my way."

Missy snatched the bag and made her way towards the exit, knocking over as many displays and neatly stacked shelves as she could as she went. The checkout girl stared in dismay as a complete mess was made of her shop, and finally, something inside of her snapped.

She slammed down the phone furiously, forgetting all about calling the police as her anger took over. "RIGHT! That's it! I have had just about enough of this. Who the hell do you think you are, coming in here, STEALING from me and treating this place like a playground? Do you have any idea how hard I work to keep this shop running? Unlike you, I actually contribute to society, and working here is actually stressful enough without having to deal with some homeless old woman who has somehow made it to middle-aged without learning a single thing about how to make herself look half decent."

Missy, who had been just about to walk out of the shop before the girl's outburst, let out a shocked gasp. She turned on her heel to face the girl, a sneering smile now on her lips and her bright blue eyes brimming with madness.

"Now that really wasn't a very nice thing to say was it?" She tutted mockingly.

The girl stumbled backwards behind her till, terrified as Missy slowly squared up to her.

"I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I just-I-I think maybe you should leave now-"

"Say something nice." Missy cut through the girls stammering, still inching closer towards her.

"I-I shouldn't have said all of that, I didn't mean to offend you I was just-"

But before she could get the rest of her sentence out, Missy pulled a phone like device from her pocket and with the touch of a button fired a disintegration beam, turning the girl to dust.

Missy smiled down at the pile of ashes now on the floor.

"Thanks for the help hun," she whispered, before swinging her shopping bag over her shoulder and skipping lightly out of the shop.


End file.
